Hi.

I was checking out the World Wide Web today, and pulled up your site in a general search. Frankly, I was looking for sites regarding women with large breasts, so, needless to say, I was a little shocked when I clicked your link. Are you for real? And, how entertained must you be that when I put in the word "jugs" your site came up. I usually don't send random emails to silly Internet fodder, but you made me laugh out loud. I'm wondering, when is your next Tub & Pot Convention? How often do you guys accept submissions? Can one mail them to you? (Of course, I would cover the postage.) How could I join this elite establishment?

Also, I have a lovely, old tub in my home, the clawfoot kind from the late 30's. I could send you a photo of it for your collection if you would like. I've been thinking about refurbishing it, but I'm not really sure what that would take. It has some hard water stains and a small crack on the far edge of the rim. If you have some suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Thanks for the laugh & any advice you can give.

Mary Ralph.


Ms. Ralph,

Ah yes… the World Wide Web… we've heard of it. Though we're not keen as to what a "general search" is. Conversely, we are all experts when it comes to jugs.

The next Tub and Pot Club Convention is slated for late summer 2001 in Athens County Ohio. We accept submissions for the annual competition year-round. The field is weak so far this year in most categories, save for the always-popular tubs, pots and double-boiler segments.

Membership is free and requires only your genuine interest. Benefits include free admission to our conventions, discounts at our partner stores, and free access to our vast container-bartering network.

Your claw foot tub sounds fabulous. We'd love a picture. John Schnitzerfellow, one of our earliest, (and oddest) members submitted this information on refinishing porcelain tubs. We hope it helps you in your endeavors.

Yours in service,

Dan
TubAndPotClub.com

BTW - what did you find so "silly" and/or laughable on our site? Surely it was an oversight on our webmaster's part.


Dear Dan;

I apologize, but honestly, i did not realize you considered yourself a serious website/organization. I figured, the webmaster got bored, did a few choice, assorted hallucinogens and designed a humourous site to entertain himself. Or, perhaps he's one of those overzealous fellas flexing his website capabilities...with a rather odd choice of topics.

Exactly what drew you to tubs & pots? What makes them such a consuming habit for you and your devotees? Have you erected an alter in your home? Do you only use TUBS & POTS in your preparation & consumption of food? Do plates and bowls offend you? How do you feel about actual eating utensils (sporks, knives, etc)?

Don't get me wrong, I love my tub - and I have a great set of cooking pots from my grandmother. But, I've never been as intrigued/obsessed/enchanted by them as I am now. This, I believe is due to your site. I very much enjoyed the baking essay, by the way. You should have that Pete fella write another fascinating piece. Clearly, he's got skills.

So...how long till the convention?? I hope it's really soon. And, if you'd be okay with it, I'd love to have you sign my jugs...I mean my tub.

Mary Ralph.


Ms. Ralph,

What gives with the inquisition? Forgive my inquiry, but since our only registered tub and/or pot groupies mysteriously dropped off the face of the earth a few years back, we've not seen such enthusiastic tubness in a woman. (In her day, Mrs. Peabody was as tubalicous as they came. We pray the Ginkoba and Garlic pills will keep her dulling blade from deteriorating further.)

Most of the answers to your questions can be found on our website. As you seem to have a cursory knowledge of the TubAndPotClub.com layout, it shouldn't be difficult for you to navigate through the container-info deluge to find the responses to your queries. You may of course continue to direct specific inquiries to our email support team.

Again, the next Tub and Pot Club Convention is slated for late summer 2001 in Athens County Ohio. Our webmaster has been a bit slow to the punch in updating that section of the site as he appears to be recovering from a perpetual hangover. He and the rest of the TnP Club crew will be more than happy to sign your juggs - er um, tub.

We'll forward your words of praise on to former Club COO Pete Schwartz. He's been "busily" setting up our east coast operations for a few years now. Perhaps your words of encouragement will serve to light a fire under his ass. (We can only hope.)

Regards,

Dan
TubAndPotClub.com


 


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